New Freezer

Our old freezer was on its last legs. The hinges had finally outlasted the metal on the coffin like lid on the 6 foot, 6 inch chest freezer that lived out in the shop. Sande and I bought it 20 years ago--used. We were shopping classified adds in the local newspaper and we looked at this one first. It seemed just too effin big. The owner wanted $150. We toured three or four other used freezers but at the end of the day I called the owner of the BF freezer and offered him $100. He countered with $125. Sold. It just fit under the canopy of my new 92 short bed Dodge Dakota. Couldn't put the tailgate up so had to tie a rope to keep the huge Amana from sliding out the back while ascending a hill. I got technical assistance from some friends & neighbors and we moved it into our old mo-beel home. It was heavy--possibly four hundred pounds empty. AMANA made in USA was proudly emblazoned on a chrome badge on the latch. Many Thanksgiving turkeys resided in the old chest freezer over the years. Many Easter hams and containers of frozen applesauce. Half our wedding cake spent a year in suspended animation in the hoarfrost of the white enameled sarcophagus. A half an elk was our guest. One time when we helped with a T-Day inner in the Whitteaker Neighborhood, we diverted a dozen turkey carcasses that were headed for the dumpster after the event. They rode home in clean garbage bags in the back of the Dakota. Into the freezer they went and Sande eventually boiled them all down into gallons and gallons of turkey stock that went back into the freezer. The Amana was totally huge. You could stack at least two, and possibly three bodies in it. "Sande? Oh she went back to Florida. Said I was a loser and a pathetic small time clown and she was tired of being married to a piker. No, she was pretty adamant. I don't think she'll be back " I enlisted the neighbor's aid and she ran a computer program for the best deal in the neighborhood. I measured the inside of the old Amana and calculated that it was a 27 cubic foot model. I had to admit, we never filled the thing to capacity. I studied the options and decided that an energy efficient 20 cubic foot upright would probably be the best choice. If nothing else it would free up a little more floor space in the shop. Lowe's was having a sale that amounted to 70 dollars off the regular price. There was nothing for it but to drive to Eugene and check it out. I decided that the Fridgidaire was as good as it was going to get and told the salesman to load one up. Todd took a dolly and fetched one from the back while I paid for it up front with a credit card. The cashier asked for ID and I showed her my official ID card from the salt mines. It has a bigger hi def photo on it than an Oregon Drivers License. Because my agency shares a roof with the National Guard, MCR, Forest Circus and USNR my ID card has OREGON MILITARY DEPARTMENT laser jetted on the plastic in big black letters. "Oh, so you're in the military," cooed the cashier. "Um, yeah--that's right." I agreed, following along. "Todd, did you give this gentleman the 10% military discount?" Todd had not. Bad Todd! If anybody had called BS on this, I would have just played the artillery ears card and said "Oh, I thought you asked if I was (past tense) in the military." I have that T shirt. I pulled Linda's grey Tundra to the front door and three of us easily boosted the new freezer in the back of the truck. Todd and his assistant left and I fastened the big carton in the vertical position with ratchet straps and rope. I did not exceed 45 mph the 25 miles home. Linda and I easily slid the new freezer over the edge of the tailgate and onto the ce-ment floor of the car port in front of the shop. I walked to the end of the road and borrowed Kevin's dolly. It was standing outside in plain sight. Ginger rushed out to bark at me until she saw who it was and shifted to wagging mode. It was no challenge wheeling the new freezer into the shop by myself. I placed it by the back door next to the old Amana and plugged it in. I transferred the frozen food from the old to the new and found I was barely able to skid the empty Amana on the six inch thick concrete floor. The new freezer's compressor is a quarter the mass of the Amana's and has a sticker reading Panasonic made in Singapore. I somehow doubt if we get 20 years out of this one. I will need help removing the old chest freezer. There must be enough steel in it to build half a Toyota. N